Okay, Catholics. I know you’re out there. I want to know why you think the Virgin Mary died a virgin. After all, she was…married!
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I studied theology at a Catholic seminary that trained monks and nuns for one semester. I was the only non-priest, non-monk, non-nun in this class, which in theory was supposed to be about the history of the modern in church. In practice, the coursework reached the Reformation during the first week and never advanced beyond it for the entire semester. Periodically, my professor would beseechingly ask me questions about why I was a protestant heretic.
My favorite such encounter was when he stopped mid-sentence during one lecture and said to me, “FierceLinguist, why don’t you love the Virgin Mary? Your church is motherless!” *cue much gasping from the nuns and monks in the audience* I offered a halting explanation in Spanish at to why Protestants think the Virgin Mary is a Very Nice Lady and yet not someone who can help you with prayers.
I’m actually a big fan of the Virgin Mary, but I’m really not sure why it’s so abhorrent for people to think that she eventually had sex with her husband. My husband has requested that I not ask our priest about this at mass this weekend. I’m pretty sure he’d just start talking about Tradition with a capital “t” anyway. Or say it’s a “mystery” of the church, which means, “Bless your heart, it’s rude to ask about the sex lives of saints. This is why you’re one of the separated brethren.”
*http://blasphemes.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html
As a recovering Catholic I have often wondered about this myself. Honestly though, most of the more practical Catholics (few as they may seem, they do exist) accept that Mary probably had sex with her husband… eventually. The title “Virgin Mary” is obviously a part of the confusion here, though for some reason “Baby Jesus” doesn’t seem to make people think that Jesus didn’t grow up. At any rate, it probably is rude to think about Mary doing IT, but that’s not exactly the point is it. And the whole Catholic relationship with saints and god is also another bag of worms. In short, only die-hard weirdos (in my opinion) really think Mary was a virgin forever.
Hey EnMichael,
What I think is really interesting is the doctrine of perpetual virginity, which states that she was a virgin even while giving birth. Virginity has nothing to do with giving birth unless you tie it strictly to the presence of a hymen, which is problematic for obvious reasons (like not all girls still having the impediment of a hymen when they first have sex). I agree with you that lots of “cultural Catholics” don’t believe in the virginity of Mary. I’m teasing serious Catholics, but I believe in the virgin conception of Jesus, which sounds equally silly. I think it’s good to recognize when you sound absurd to other people. That’s probably easier for me than most religious people because I wasn’t religious until I was an adult, so I remember a lot better what things like Jesus being born of a virgin sounded like. The Catholics and saints is a whole ‘nother can of worms, one I’m also very interested in. I read this great blog called Ask Sister Mary Martha by a nun who is constantly explaining the difference between praying TO the saints and asking for their intercession. She should just get it tattooed onto her forehead.