Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘agency’

I finished the book When Helping Hurts and have been thinking about how Americans so often  swoop into a third world country or a poor neighborhood and try to “fix” things according to our own standards, which undermines the talents and drive of the people who live there and reinforces our own mistaken sense of superiority.  We should try to partner with local resources and listen to what people actually need.  We should try to make lasting changes that our motivated from within the community rather than imposing quick changes from outside the community that probably won’t last.  We should remember that being poor involves so much more than just lacking the basics that a human needs to survive – it involves feelings of powerlessness and shame and fatalism.  We can’t just throw money at those in poverty and expect things to improve.  Often there are systemic factors like racism that contribute to poverty.  This book emphasizes respecting local culture and working in partnership with the poor in a way that affirms their own skills and brings about long-lasting and organic change.

Even though the ideas in When Helping Hurts are profound, it was difficult to read to the end because of the dry writing style.  I persevered and have since been thinking about the difference between helping people and enabling people.  The way I enable certain people is similar to the way many people mistakenly try to alleviate poverty, and reading about guidelines for dealing with the poor made me think about applying these ideas to my own relationships.  (It sounds like maybe I should’ve read a self-help book this week instead of a book on the poor, but at least I learned something!)  The authors provide 3 guidelines when someone comes to you with a crisis:

(1) Determine if there is an authentic crisis at hand.  “If you fail to provide immediate help, will there really be serious, negative consequences?”

(2) To what extent is the person responsible for their crisis?  If you help them, will they miss out on the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions?  (They note that you should pay attention to systemic factors that can cause crisis and not be punitive.)

(3) Can the person help themselves?  If they can help themselves, doing it for them would undermine their confidence in their agency.  “Avoid paternalism.  Do not do things for people that they can do for themselves.”

I am often bossy.  I take charge of situations and make things happen, but that means that I sometimes steamroll over people and don’t give them the chance to develop important skills.  I needed to hear someone tell me to avoid paternalism this week, because that’s a character flaw that I struggle with.  At work, my instinct is to avoid taking the time to train someone for a new task when it’s faster for me to do it myself.  Instead this year I have been making an effort to mentor other people (those 2.5 people who have less experience than I do…) even when it takes time, because it’s the right thing to do and it’s actually more efficient for me in the long term.  At home, I have consciously been including my husband* more in the process of dealing with our bank, because it’s important that both spouses be partners about finances.

I had begun this process of stepping back and letting other people learn how to fish rather than just fishing for them sometime last year, but reading this book gave me words to describe what I am doing.  I am avoiding paternalism; I am affirming the agency of other people.

*I am grateful that my husband has not decided to make me demonstrate more agency in processes like emissions inspections because it is important for both spouses to be conversant about  car maintenance.  Luckily, he has not read When Helping Hurts and probably never will.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: