Posts Tagged ‘arguing’

There is something about me that talks too fast and thinks too fast.  I rush to fill silences.  I leap ahead and people aren’t ready.  I say startling things.

Today we argued.  I washed the dishes.  I came back and said, “Do you regret the way this visit is turning out?”  In those moments of solitude, I had decided to give you a chance.  I thought maybe you wanted to turn back the clock to when this visit had still seemed promising, but you don’t know how.  It turns out you weren’t ready for this peace offering.  You were probably still planning your rebuttal.  You stared at the floor and said nothing.  I felt like my gesture had been rejected and I put on my shoes slowly, waiting for you to say something.  You didn’t, and I left.

I gave you a chance and you blew it.  Loving people is giving these chances again and again.  It’s being vulnerable after you’ve been hurt.  It’s trying to get in sync with someone when their pace is all wrong for you.

Why can’t you be ready for peace?  Why are you still planning what to say next?  Why can’t you be quick on the up-take, and recognize the opening I gave you, and pause a moment and say, “Yes, I regret the way tonight turned out.  Let’s start again.”  Why don’t you see the chance I gave you?

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